My Sincere Contempt for Ironic Mustaches

17 Nov

From Thought Catalog. About hipsters and their dumb mustaches!

Shave ’em!

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Stop Mocking Me, Groupon

17 Nov

Originally run on Thought Catalog. Why Groupon needs to get off my back already.

I give up!

If You’ve Seen Me Dance, I’m Sorry

17 Nov

Another thing I wrote for Thought Catalog. It’s an apology for my dancing!

Really, I’m Sorry!

Real Men Bake

17 Nov

Another fun thing I wrote for Thought Catalog! It’s about baking, and how that legitimizes my masculinity!

I’m A Man!

Concluding Sentences From Several Hypothetical Undergraduate Term Papers

17 Nov

Another thing I wrote for Thought Catalog! It’s a lot of silly jokes!

College, right?

My Grandmother Reviews the Movie Titanic

17 Nov

Here’s a piece I wrote for http://www.thoughtcatalog.com about what my grandmother thinks about Titanic.

Spoiler Alert: She’s Not Impressed!

Great Moments in Procrastination History

17 Nov

I’ve been writing a bunch for http://www.thoughtcatalog.com. Here’s a thing that I wrote! It’s about all-time great procrastination.

Like, YouTube and Stuff!