Things I Irrationally Expect to Happen Now That the Debt Ceiling Has Been Raised

3 Aug

College loans paid in full.

Rent now due “whenever.”

“Sunday” officially changed to “Funday.”

Compulsory Mandarin and/or Cantonese lessons in US schools.

Free Slurpees for everyone!

Boehner and Biden now BFFs.

Birds suddenly appear.

National anthem now officially “Don’t Stop Believing.”

Marriage equality universally accepted.

Dominos to revamp recipe once again.

Space shuttle program…back in business!

Everything’s going to be okay.


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