I have a childishly ambivalent relationship with September. On one hand, it’s the beginning of fall, which means that I get to wear corduroy pants (nice!). On the other hand, it means that since I live in New England, the weather could turn blisteringly, skin-freezingly cold without so much as a moment’s notice (gross!). I get to go back to teaching (nice!). But that means a temporary halt to my freewheeling, pie at all hours, comedy on the road lifestyle (gross!). But, for real, teaching again has been really fun so far, and I thought I would share with you some of the stories that have happened so far. Names of children have been changed to protect the tiny.
Girl, Age 4.5 (On my first day back, but at 2pm)
“Oh, hello, Josh. It’s nice to see you today!”
Nice to see you too! But did you just notice?
Girl, Age 3 (When told we were going to learn some Spanish words)
“But I already know Spanish. Uno, dos, tres, cuatro! See?”
I think she’s got it locked down.
A three-year-old boy who is the class clown of the class younger than mine always likes when people tell him he’s funny. I learned from another teacher that he actually asks his parents to rate his jokes for him. Consequently, no matter what he’s doing, if someone tells him “That’s a zero.” He will stop. I’ve never met a smaller person who is afraid of bombing. I want to teach him to say: “I don’t come down to where you work and smack the crayons out of your hand!” Take that hecklers/other teachers.
Finally, a four-year-old boy came back from a summer vacation very excited to tell me the jokes he had written while he was away in South Dakota. Here they are for you:
“What do a stop sign and a dog have in common? Pause! (Paws!)”
“What kind of leaf always feels good? Re-leaf!”
So basically, this kid is a comedy genius. His mom assured me that while she helped him with structure, he came up with the puns all on his own. He also said this to me:
“Josh, here are two things we have in common. We both love jokes, and we both hate tomatoes.”
Finally, someone who -gets- me!
It’s good to be back.