“Oh, I get it. You live in fear.”

26 Aug

So now I’m in Texas, everyone!

Yesterday I flew Austin by way of Dallas.  I learned a few things.

1. American Airlines gives you the whole can of soda.  Booya.
2. If I have to pee really bad, and a lady refuses to watch my bags because of security warnings, I will accuse her of “living in fear.”  Then, once I have used the bathroom, I will apologize several times for being rude.
3. My roommate Audrey is an American hero for getting up at 6:30 to drive me to the train so I could get to the airport on time.

When I landed in Austin, I was really excited because it is like the fun capital of America.  Even the airport has kind of a cool yard sale-y feel about it.  There were locally owned coffee shops instead of Starbuckses.  Also, can we talk about who the Hudson Booksellers are?  I’ve never seen one outside of an airport, but they’ve got the terminal game locked DOWN.  Are they owned by a larger company, or was it just one guy with a vision of airport domination?  Once again, I refuse to do any research on the matter.

My cab driver was super friendly, and we talked about travel a lot.  He’s from Ethiopia, and he told me about how his parents came over to Texas eleven years ago on Diversity Visas, which I found fascinating.  He had a cooler of water bottles in the taxi, which came in hand, because I will sweat at the drop of a hat.  Also once more when picking the hat up.  Then again once I’ve put the hat back on my head.

Anyway, the hotel is good, and the week’s headliner, Iliza Shlesinger, was gracious enough to give me a ride to the club, because it would have been a hot walk along a highway.  I would have looked like I was immigrating to a comedy club.  Also, Iliza’s boyfriend Jamie and tiny dog Blanche are super nice.  The show was great!  I’d guess that if the room seats just over 300, there were around 230 there.  There was a great lively energy in the room, and the Austin crowd was up for anything.  My friend John Ramsey dropped by to do a guest spot, and he told his joke about unicorns, which is one of my favorite jokes of ever.  My set was so much fun.  I went off on a weird tangent where I tied elementary school Spanish in with Fight Club and then Biggie.  So, you know, all the things I’m an expert on.

It was really great to watch Iliza’s show, too.  She maintains such a consistent energy and intensity over an hour, which is pretty inspirational to me, because even when I’m only onstage for five minutes, I pretty much just stand in one place and whisper.  One time a few weeks ago I crouched as part of a joke, and both of my knees audibly popped.  So I learned my lesson.  Never move ever for any reason.  Also, Iliza did an amazing job handling a really shout-y and “woo”-y girls night out group.  She was really funny on the fly and really calm about how many times they screamed “Jaaaaaaagerbombs!”  I probably would have dealt with that situation by alienating the entire audience and/or weeping openly.

After the show, David McQuary (the host for the weekend) and I went to Kerby Lane, which is kind of a locally-owned Denny’s, for a late dinner.  It was delicious.  David is a pretty new comic, and was really funny, and we had a good time kicking around and eating diner food.  As we drove around, I recognized some places I went last year when I passed through.  Specifically a bar called Hole in the Wall where Shawn Donovan and I played pinball until an amazing country-blues band started performing and we sat down and watched them for an hour.  Fun City, USA, I tells ya.

Today I’m hoping to venture into the city and do some exploring and adventuring.  I’ll bring my camera so this blog will be less of my goofy words and more of my goofy pictures.  Game on!  Any ideas, guys?

Tonight, dinner with Boston ex-patriots Shane Mauss and Maggie MacDonald, and then a show at 8.  (Then tomorrow and Saturday shows at 8 and 10:30.  www.capcitycomedy.com)

I’m going to make fun come true!



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