At the Ramada Mall of America where I’m staying this weekend, there is a little fitness center. I went there today in an effort to not die after eating nothing but pizza for roughly two straight days. It’s hard to eat right on the road, when I’m at a hotel all afternoon and then spend the entire evening at a comedy club that doesn’t offer any vegetables (unless you count popcorn, which I don’t…anymore). The little hotel gym was very important this morning. They didn’t have an elliptical machine, so I rode the stationary bike for a very brief period of time. Namely, until my shame at how tired/sweaty I was overtook the shame of how many french fries I had eaten over the past three days. Then I went back to my hotel room and had a Fla-vor-ice freeze pop for breakfast. Take that, health.