Fists Ahoy!

28 Jul

The ascendance of the Jersey Shore crew has a lot of social implications.  First and foremost, it implies that society is coming to a fiery, greasy, well-tanned end.  But in a less dire vein, it has brought the fist pump to the forefront of nonverbal communication in American culture.  Fist pumping is not a new phenomenon.  Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods both have signature fist pumps.  Arsenio Hall inspired a very specific fist pump of encouragement.  But when executing a fist pump, specificity is key.  You don’t want to send the wrong message.  Here’s a handy guide to avoiding faux paws.  (PUN!)

"Fifteen more minutes! Fifteen more minutes!"

Name: The Jersey Shore
Description: Fist extended upwards repeatedly, often in time to music.
What it Says: “I love this song!  Also, I love sit-ups more than books!”

"This Blackberry uncrackable!!!!!"

Name: The Michael Jordan/The Tiger Woods
Description: One firm pump, arm remains extended forward at right angle.
What it Says: “In your face, Drexler!”  or  “Nailed that putt.”  or  “My wife will never find out about this text message/gambling debt.”

Name: The Scooby Doo Villain
Description: Fist extended outwards and upwards, shaken vigorously.
What it Says: “I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids.”

Name: The Champion
Description: Fists clasped together and shaken repeatedly over alternating shoulders.
What it Says: “I just won an athletic competition with the help of a very fast car or horse!”

Name: The High Roller
Description: Fist cocked back behind head, shaken vigorously, blown on, and then brought forward and opened.
What it Says: “Daddy needs a new pair of shoes.  Seriously.  I just bet my shoes at craps.”

Name: The Jerk
Description: Fist placed in front of mouth, moved vigorously up and down.
What it Says: “I will do anything to get out of this speeding ticket.”

Suggest your own if you have some!

Also, Episode 4 of The Two Man Canoe is up!  It’s on our blog, and even awesomer, it’s on iTunes!  Subscribe!  Subscribe!

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