It’s all good Swayze, Swayze.

27 Jun

So here’s the deal, everyone.

I’m in San Francisco visiting Sarah’s family (with Sarah, I’m not sneaking around behind her back).  My schedule has been pretty breakneck for the last couple of days, and my access to the world wide webs has been sporadic.  I haven’t been onstage since Tuesday in Boston, so I’m getting a little antsy to do some shows.  I’m on at the Punchline on Tuesday, and I’m going to hang out over there tonight in hopes of grabbing a quick set and seeing some SF friends.

San Francisco is an awesome city.  Do not be fooled by its inclusion in California, though.  It will still be 60 degrees and very windy in late June.  You live and you learn.  You learn to bring a thick sweatshirt instead of mostly t-shirts and one button down for being fancy.  Since I’ve arrived here, Sarah and I have done enough tourist stuff for several weeks!

Day 1: Fisherman’s Wharf, Golden Gate Bridge, Muir Woods, Ice Cream in Sausalito which is the name of a cookie (but I now call it Ice Cream City, USA), Watching the Giants-Red Sox game on television.

Day 2: Brief but intense workout at a hotel gym, Burritos in the Mission, Coffee and World Cup Defeat at Philz (Phil’z?) Coffee where they brew by the single cup, The California Academy of Science Museum (with a “living roof,” which is not as scary/apocalyptic as it sounds), Italian food, a speakeasy!, Point Break: Live!!!  I will elaborate primarily on the last two things.

The speakeasy  is a place called Bourbon and Branch.  It is near the Union Square (fancy) and Tenderloin (non-fancy) neighborhoods of San Francisco.  To get in, you have to make a reservation on the internet and then tell them the password once you get there.  You know, just like during actual prohibition!  The lighting is dim (and unfortunately photographs are not allowed), and when we got there, our table was not yet ready despite our reservation.

But that was okay.  Because I got to experience a childhood dream while we were waiting.  They took us to a second bar in the “library” part of the building.  To get there, we had to go through A SECRET DOOR THAT LOOKED LIKE A BOOKSHELF!!!!!!  Some of you might be wondering, Josh, are you secretly Scrooge McDuck, the famous fictional duck billionaire.  No.  I am but a simple man.  A man who got to walk through a bookshelf that was secretly a door.  And my life will never be the same.

When we sat down, we were handed a drink menu that included single ounces of scotch that cost more than the blue book value of my car.  I settled on a cocktail called The Derby, which consisted primarily of bourbon and tasted a letter grade better than drinking an actual hat would have.  Normally, I don’t have upwards of zero drinks in a night, so this guy hit me pretty hard.  I got very silly and started demanding to see Patrick Swayze.

My tipsiness continued to the show (Point Break: Live), where I was duped into thinking that the local actress present was actually Point Break and Hurt Locker director Katherine Bigelow.  But regardless, the show was wonderful in a way that was like what I imagine the Rocky Horror Picture Show would be like if it were more awesome.  There is still blood on my hands from the show.  It is fake prop blood.  Not a metaphor for responsibility I feel for a death that I caused.  The actors who played the Swayze and Busey characters were pretty terrific, and a guy from the audience gets to play Johnny Utah, the Keanu Reeves role.  If they ever do a remake of Point Break, which they should, they should get that guy.  My only regret is that I will not be able to see The Big Lebowski: Live, which only runs on Thursdays.

So far the trip has been excellent.  To close this e-mail, I will include several pictures of vistas and vista-like imagery.  Enjoy!

This is the hill that rocky would have run up and down if he had lived in San Francisco and still been a boxer.

Man, could that brook babble!

Neither Golden, nor a Gate. But one heck of a bridge.

Water as blue as Windex.

These flowers were all over Ice Cream City. My guess is they are not called Ice Cream City Flowers.

Vaya con dios,


PS.  My show at the Hollywood Improv next Thursday (7/1) is at 10pm and will also feature such excellent comedians as Bill Burr, Hugh Moore, and Ian Edwards.  You can reserve tickets online for super cheap if you use the promo code MORE.  Or come on Friday for a regular price.…0-248bb550ce8c

Double PS. Listen to my podcast The Two Man Canoe with Dan and Josh at  Episode 2 is up now!

One Response to “It’s all good Swayze, Swayze.”

  1. Sarah June 28, 2010 at 1:12 am #

    Speak Easssssyy Baby!

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