Just Saying: You Don’t -Always- Double Down

11 May

So guys,

KFC has released a sandwich (the “Double Down”) that reminds me (through it’s name) of Swingers, one of my all-time favorite movies.  It is a sandwich with no bun.  Just two pieces of fried (or grilled) chicken, with bacon, cheese, and some ungodly sauce in the middle.  It’s for if you’re on a low-carb diet, but you still want to gain a crap-ton of weight.  So I had to try it.  In the interest of science, of course.

My friend/co-scientist Ben Sandler and I went into our local KFC for the first time since we moved into this neighborhood three years ago.  We each ordered a Double Down combo, which came with a drink and potato wedges (actually any side you want, but…obviously potato wedges).  We brought the loot back to our house to devour…for science.  Here are my observations.

1. In the television commercials for this sandwich, the sandwich has a wax paper sleeve over it.  We received no such sleeves.  Therefore, we just had to clutch the fried chicken breasts in our bare hands as we ate.  Fried chicken hurts to hold in your hand.  It’s as if the sandwich itself were warning me not to eat it…or that it held an untold mystical power not for the faint of heart.  Probably the second one.

2. KFC listed the caloric content of the Double Down at 396.  But independent sources have estimated it’s probably actually closer to 800.  It tastes like 800 for better and/or worse.

3. “I thought you’d be bigger,” is what I said to it.  Like everyone says to Swayze in Road House.

4. It could really use a bun to balance out all that meat flavor and absorb some of the sauce/cheese.  Seriously.  There’s no need for a bunless sandwich.  Are they trying to save money?  Can I even order one with a bun on it?  So many questions.

5. It wasn’t bad.  But it was not an essential eating experience.  I’ve just got the spirit of discovery in me.

A double Double Down. Don't worry. I only ate one.

My dream: A Quadruple Down.  Two double down sandwiches with steak buns.  Let’s do it, America.

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