The Unaccomplished Tourist

6 Mar

There are lots of things to do in Atlanta.  You can visit its famed aquarium, home to two beluga whales.  You can tour CNN headquarters and see into the brainbuilding of newsmaking.  You can visit the Margaret Mitchell house, in memory of the author of Gone With The Wind.  Or, for the intrepid traveller, there is the opportunity to stay in your hotel until one in the afternoon and then gorge yourself on southern bbq.  Obviously, I opted for that.

Now, I’ve been sleeping about four hours a night here and waking up excited to blog my latest exploits for you eager readers.  Because I wouldn’t want to let my parents and girlfriend and one other person down by not writing.  But then, since my two hotel roommates (Mark and Jess) are very reasonable, they continue sleeping for several more hours.  And since I’m in an addled meth-like frenzy from lack of sleep, I don’t have the wherewithal to start touring on my own.

In any case, friend and excellent comedian Andy Sandford picked us up from the hotel and took us to local bbq joynt “Daddy D’z.”  I needed some veggies, like, real bad, so I ordered the broccoli casserole.  It was all sold out, so I had to get the fried okra instead.  So…I tried, body.  Really, I tried to do something nice for you.  Sorry it turned out not so great.  The food was delicious, though, so at least I did something good for the mouth part of my body.

One increasingly-intense part of the trip is that Boston comics Jay Marcus, Sean Wilkinson, and I are giving everyone meet “Dog” nicknames (everyone I don’t call “No Remorse” at least).  It’s sort of spiraled out of control, and now we have friends named Big Dog (Jay), Smash Dog (Sean), Top Doggg (Me, 3 g’s like the Verizon network), Bulldog, Slaw Dog, Shaggy Dog, Drug Sniffing Dog, Dog Dog (D-Squared for long), King Dog, Lion Dog, Attack Dog, Zim Dog, and several more.  It’s getting to be a real problem keeping them straight.  At breakfast were Bull, Stray, Smash, Big, Nate, and King.  So..that’s weird.

Afterwards, we walked through scenic Piedmont Park.  It was a nice loop, and a good chance to scout out the scene of today’s kickball game.  Side note, if you want to see some fictional kickball exploits, sift through the hilarious insanity of the Quiet Desperation Web Series (  In Episode 12, I perform a kickball-themed slam poetry piece entitled “My Big Jew Right Foot.”  Even though I’m left-footed.  Trust me when I say, you will enjoy this more than you understand what’s going on.

Last night, I went over to the Laughing Skull to watch friend and roommate Mark Normand tear it up onstage.  He took a very respectable and hard-earned 4th place finish, and he moved on to the wild card semifinal.  I was very proud, and cheered with lots of enthusiasm that I had to match when cheering for everyone else, so as not to seem biased.

Then, it was time for my show.  Instead of doing a longer set up front, host and festival organizer Marshall Chiles brought up a special guest to do a set.  That guest was Margaret Cho, who was funny and very nice.  She left the show before I went on, but she’ll always live on, on my resume.  My set went very well, but I didn’t feel like I blew the doors off of the place.  I left the room to eat a burger made out of a bison (delicious), and when I came back, they were announcing the winners.  I think the crowd had been tight from beginning to end, and I ended up tied for first place, which was really exciting.  I’m in the semi-finals tonight, so I’ll spend some time today putting together a whole new showcase set, which should be fun and challenging.  Everyone has been so cool, and this has been a really rewarding experience so far.  I’m looking forward to tonight.  Cross your fingers for me, blogfolks.


2 Responses to “The Unaccomplished Tourist”

  1. Brett J March 7, 2010 at 7:16 pm #

    That I will. — Am I a day too late for the finger-crossing to have an effect?

    • gondelman March 7, 2010 at 8:09 pm #

      It could have worked retroactively! Thanks, man!

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